POSTED March 4 2012

Lindsay Lohan, Rising From Ashes, Firebombed by Tabloids

Everybody’s a critic, I know. But it’s reached the point where a woman can’t go to the supermarket — or the Oscars, or host SNL — without being hogtied in the double-binds and double-standards of the haters.

Case in point, Lindsay Lohan, who hosted Saturday Night Live last night. The former teen sensation, now 25, has been committing staricide in recent years, what with DUIs and probation violations. She pulled herself together, got onstage of a live show and did what celebrity screwups like Eddie Murphy and Hugh Grant and Robert Downey, Jr. do as pop penance: She mocked herself, her house arrests and the public’s worst suspicions. Her monologue was par, she was terrifically funny as Rapunzel in a pre-taped segment, “Real Housewives of Disney,” and OK in a sketch about a Psychics’ Convention that had a good concept but wasn’t particularly well-written. A for effort, B for execution and extra credit points for bravery, right?

That’s not what the New York Post thought. In a poisonous piece that belittled Lohan and talked about her plastic surgery more than it did her performance, the article exemplifies the particular harshness with which female celebs are scrutinized. Whenever a woman stands in the spotlight, it seems, she’s either too beefy or too anorectic, her dress is too revealing or too meh, her face too gaunt or too Botoxed. How do we get beyond this double-bind? Are Downey Jr. or Al Pacino mocked for their plastic surgery? Are George Clooney or Eddie Murphy whispered about for manorexia? No, we talk about their movies and their performances.

Lohan is a talent. Not only was she in every scene of The Parent Trap, but in every scene twice, with different accents. In Freaky Friday and Mean Girls she was even better. I won’t talk about Herbie: Fully Loaded or Georgia Rule,  which were misbegotten vehicles for a teenage girl speeding out of control. After her performance last night shouldn’t she be lauded for humility rather than humiliated for how she looks? Shame on the New York Post. Calling on Tina Fey to write a screenplay with a role for Lohan as good as Fey’s Mean Girls.

Calling on you to share your thoughts about her performance last night. Your favorite Lohan role? I’m going with Freaky Friday, where not only did she have to play her character but also Jamie Lee Curtis inhabiting her character.



  1. movieirv says:

    I agree Linsday is a talent, but I thought SNL was the worst I’ve seen this season. Everything was off about it and lot sof th ejokes were references to her criminla past. that got old after her monologue. The skit with Kenan Thompson was particularly painful to watch. She also seemed to be reading all of he rlines off of cue cards and not trying to hide it, either. the psychic’s convention was the best skit of the night. Everything else–including thew news–was pretty close to awful.

  2. I didn’t see SNL, but we’re great fans of LL in this house. That being said, the trainwreck (I guess the unfortunate surgeries were part of it and she works in a visual medium) happened and I’m very sorry about it. I do keep in mind (always) that she’s actually a real flesh-and-blood person, hugely talented, but obviously not very bright. Acting’s mysterious. She can be amazingly good, but when you read things like her unfortunate “tweet” following Robert Altman’s death you realize that this woman needs a minder-and-a-half and suffered the cliched actor misfortune of creepy, grabby parents. I fear what lies ahead for her. I also didn’t realize that Robert Downey, Jr. had plastic surgery. Al Pacino — yes. Tom Cruise? The Oscars made it appear that way. Curtis

  3. Carrie Rickey says:

    @Curtis: Many actors have eye “refreshening.” Cruise’s age-deying face suggests that: a) like Benjamin Button, he is aging backwards; b) he has a painting in the attic; c) surgical refreshening. It hasn’t yet affected his performances. A few years back, Pacino lost some facial mobility and it was as if someone had messed with a Stradivarius.

  4. Tom’s face looked a wee bit parchment-y and oddly ruddy, but the red might have been imperfectly applied makeup. At least he hasn’t blown up his lips a la LiLo. That would be horrible. Funny the way Mick Jagger’s once very full lips deflated. Oh well. And Billy Crystal was tragic. Curtis

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