POSTED December 30 2012
New year’s resolutions of the auteurs
Judd Apatow: I resolve to make movie that hits closer to the audience’s home than mine.
Tim Burton: I resolve to make movie that doesn’t rely on Johnny Depp playing an exaggerated version of me.
Quentin Tarantino in “Django Unchained”
Tom Hooper: I resolve to make a movie without using a fisheye lens.
Quentin Tarantino: I resolve to make movie that’s not a historical revenge fantasy.
Joe Wright: I resolve to make movie that does not punish Keira Knightley’s character for having sex.
Your resolutions for filmmakers?
Difficult to top these, Carrie, but here goes anyway:
1. I don’t like ragging on Anne Hathaway all the time, but I hope she gets to make a movie where she doesn’t have water pouring out of nose, eyes and mouth.
2. Katherine Heigl. Ditch the romcoms for a while. She’s a good, attractive actress with a deep, serious voice. There’s a command about her that’s being wasted.
3. Morgan Freeman. Stop playing God already.
4. Tom Hooper. Give back your Oscar.
5. Johnny Deep. Start making fringe indie films again. Enough with the novelty parts.
6. Zooey Deschanel. It’s been ten years at least. You’re still doing the same adorkable schtick which got you nowhere in movies and landed you on a convention sitcom. Redefine yourself asap.
7. Meryl Streep. Take a breather and give your contemporaries a shot at the good roles. That would be Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon.
Hollywood casting directors – Try hiring young male actors that don’t look like zeroxes of each other. I know it keeps the price down, but..c’mon..
1) Hurry up and chose an actor to play the lead part in 50 Shades of Grey already! Give that film an NC17 and make it befter than “Shame” was.Lawd knows you have the 3 books worth of material.
2) Stop making these so called “deep” movies about If we don’ t shape up we are going to regret it .It’s like the pot calling the kettle black .I am tired of walking out of the theater with a headache because I had to think so much.
3) Let’s give actresses that wear double diget dress sizes a chance to really show their acting teeth. Hollywood’s idea of watching death sucking on a soda cracker in the screen is not exactly something I wanna see in HD.
4) Make more comedies with that are funny, You wanna see funny film 2nds street on a Saturday night. Pretentious ? Any bar on Rittenhouse Square.Down to earth and real? Oscar’s any night !
5) Do not over use Bradley Cooper
6) Let’s have more 5.00 movie days ( are you listening Ritz?)
7) Ban anyone who does not know how to behave in a movie theater for life . Yeah make a list like you do Dead Beat Dads